I recently picked up Try Softer by Aundi Kolber, and let me tell you—it’s one of those books that stays with you long after you’ve turned the last page. It felt like Aundi was speaking directly to my heart, gently reminding me of truths I didn’t even realize I needed.

In a world that seems to celebrate hustle and pushing through at all costs, Try Softer offers a refreshingly message: what if we gave ourselves permission to slow down, to feel deeply, and to show ourselves the same compassion we so easily extend to others?

I have to be honest—I tend to fall into the “push harder, do more, be everything to everyone” trap. Failure isn’t an option, right? And if I can be incredibly vulnerable, I know this drive comes from a deep, innate part of me that feels the need to prove my worth. It’s something I’m still working through, even after years of therapy.

But Try Softer? It reminded me that sometimes the bravest thing we can do is take a step back, breathe, and give ourselves permission to just be. It brought me back to last year when my personal commitment was to Pause. That intention—however imperfectly I lived it—taught me to slow down and find moments of stillness. And this book? It was exactly what I needed to start off the new year with grace and to carry those lessons forward as I continue navigating my own unique journey.

Honestly, I think I’ve already sent this book to at least 10 of my closest friends—it’s just that good!

What It Means to “Try Softer”

At its core, Try Softer is about choosing gentleness over force, curiosity over judgment, and compassion over criticism—especially toward ourselves. Aundi introduces the idea that trying softer doesn’t mean giving up or settling for less. Instead, it’s about honoring your limits and leaning into what’s sustainable and kind. There’s no need to keep “white-knuckling your way through life.” It’s about finding strength in softness and allowing yourself to breathe, heal, and grow.

For someone like me, who’s spent years where “push harder” is practically a mantra, this concept felt revolutionary. It’s easy to equate effort with worth, but what if we were to challenge that mindset. Instead of bulldozing through, what if we allowed ourselves to pause, to listen to our bodies and emotions, and to trust that there’s strength in softness.

What I Learned

One of the most powerful takeaways for me was the idea of tuning into your body’s signals—the whispers before they become screams. She talks about how our bodies carry wisdom and how often we ignore that wisdom in favor of what we think we “should” do.

This hit home for me. Whether it’s in business or family life, I’ve always been someone who pushes through, often at the expense of my own well-being. But Try Softer reminded me that there’s power in paying attention, in listening to what my body and heart are telling me, and in giving myself permission to rest when I need it.

Another theme that resonated deeply was the idea of self-compassion. Aundi writes about being kind to yourself as you navigate life’s challenges. She reminded me that it’s okay to not have it all figured out, to stumble, and to grow at my own pace.

Why It Matters

The lessons for me weren’t just about personal growth—they were about creating a ripple effect. When we learn to show ourselves compassion, that same grace naturally flows outward to others. As someone who’s deeply passionate about building community and helping others thrive, this resonated with me on such a deep level. It reminded me that the way we treat ourselves sets the tone for how we show up for those around us, and that’s a powerful opportunity to make a difference.

The book made me deeply consider how I want to continue showing up for my children. It reminded me that so many of the patterns and beliefs we carry into adulthood are shaped in our earliest years. While I’ve always approached parenting with the intention of giving my children a better life than I had—just as I know my parents tried their best to do for me—it opened my eyes to a new realization: now that they’re stepping into adulthood, I have a unique opportunity to show up for them in ways I couldn’t before.

I can be even more transparent, vulnerable, and human with them. I can share openly that I’m still learning, still growing, and still working to be better. I want them to see that while I’m far from perfect, my love for them is infinite, and my commitment to growth is unwavering. I hope they know that no matter what life has dealt them—good or bad—they have the power to learn, grow, and step into the version of themselves they want to be. Everything we’ve been through, every challenge, and every victory has shaped us to be exactly where we are today.

It also made me reflect on how I show up in my work and in the relationships I’ve nurtured along the way. Whether I’m supporting someone through a new chapter, helping others navigate challenges, or simply being a listening ear, I want to embody the “try softer” mindset. It’s so easy to get caught in the belief that progress only comes from relentless effort and pushing harder. But this book reminded me that real, meaningful growth often happens through consistency, compassion, and taking small, intentional steps.

I want to create spaces—both in work and in life—where the people around me feel supported, seen, and encouraged to show up as their authentic selves. It’s not about striving for perfection. It’s about showing up wholeheartedly, staying curious, and embracing what feels right for each individual journey.

Ultimately, it reinforced something I’ve always believed: whether in parenting, in work, or in life, we’re all just doing our best with what we know. And as we learn to show ourselves and others more grace, we create the space to grow into the best version of ourselves—one step at a time, with love and intention.

Why You Should Read It

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, burned out, or like you’re constantly trying to measure up, Try Softer is the gentle nudge you need. It’s a reminder that you’re enough, exactly as you are, and that growth doesn’t have to come at the cost of your well-being.

For me, this book created space for reflection, for journaling, and for processing some of my own pain. It gave me the chance to slow down and really sit with my feelings, to understand them instead of pushing them aside. In those moments, I realized something so important: I’m not alone. The way I feel, the way I navigate life—it’s actually really common. And it’s okay.

Try Softer gave me permission to approach life differently—to listen to myself, to move with kindness instead of force, and to understand that it’s okay to not have it all figured out. My hope is that it inspires you to do the same. Because at the end of the day, trying softer isn’t about doing less—it’s about doing what matters most, with intention, grace, and compassion for yourself along the way.

Here’s to trying softer, together.

I’m rooting for you,
With love and encouragement,
Beth

I’d love to hear from you! Have you read Try Softer, or are you feeling called to embrace a gentler approach to life? Share your thoughts, personal takeaways, or even the ways you’re learning to listen to your body and practice self-compassion. Let’s inspire each other to show up with grace, intention, and a little more kindness in 2025!