The High-Achiever’s Dilemma

Over the last few years, I’ve learned that burnout doesn’t always show up in some dramatic crash—it sneaks in slowly.

It looks like the smile you keep plastering on even when you’re exhausted. The to-do list that somehow grows longer the more you check off. The moment you realize you’re hitting every goal… but feeling less and less like yourself in the process.

For years, I prided myself on being someone who could “get it done.” Type A, high-achieving, checklist queen. Give me a goal and I’ll hit it—sometimes twice just to prove I can. But behind that drive was something I hadn’t yet named: the unrelenting pressure I put on myself and, unknowingly, on the people around me.

In 2021, I joined a program called Positive Intelligence, and for the first time, I learned how to actually train my mind the way I’d trained my body for years. At the time, it felt like a breakthrough. Like I’d finally figured out how to breathe again. But as life got louder, busier, and more complex—I forgot. I stopped practicing. And the old patterns snuck back in.

Let’s talk about it.

Mental Fitness Isn’t Optional

We all know the importance of physical fitness. It’s why we show up to our workouts, coach others, and believe in the power of movement.

But mental fitness? That’s the rep most of us skip. And it’s the one that often matters most.

Mental fitness is your ability to handle life’s challenges—big or small—with resilience, calm, and clarity. It’s the muscle that helps you respond instead of react. That catches the spiral before it takes over. That lets you lead your team, your business, or your life from a grounded place… not from fear, judgment, or autopilot.

And like any muscle, it gets stronger with intentional reps.

The Positive Intelligence Framework (and Why It Hit Me Hard)

Created by Shirzad Chamine, a Stanford lecturer and author of Positive Intelligence, the program focuses on building your PQ—Positive Intelligence Quotient. It’s a measure of how often your mind is serving you versus sabotaging you.

Through Shirzad’s work, I was introduced to the idea of Saboteurs—patterns of thinking that may have once helped us but now hold us back. Think: the Judge, the Controller, the Pleaser, the Hyper-Achiever (hi, me), and several others.

But it’s not all doom and gloom. On the flip side, we have Sage powers: curiosity, empathy, creativity, calm, and wise action. And we can build those through daily mental reps—short, practical exercises that help us shift from saboteur mode to sage mode.

The Moment It Got Real for Me

I’ve always loved tools like StrengthsFinder. I geek out on understanding myself and my team. My top strength? Achiever.

I used to wear that like a badge of honor—and in many ways, it is a strength. But Positive Intelligence helped me see the flip side. My strength also comes with a shadow: the Stickler. The one who obsesses over details. Who can get so locked into “doing it right” that it’s hard to delegate, rest, or simply let go.

Once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it. I realized that while I thought I was being helpful, supportive, and thorough—I was sometimes coming off as rigid, impatient, or overbearing. That awareness hit me hard. It didn’t feel good, but it did give me a chance to shift.

I started practicing small daily reps. Catching my thoughts. Pausing before I spoke. Getting curious instead of defensive. Choosing empathy over urgency.

It didn’t change everything overnight—but it did change me.

But Then… I Forgot

Here’s the truth I wish I didn’t have to admit: I stopped practicing.

As my career accelerated, the old habits came creeping back. That Achiever voice got loud again. The Stickler got a megaphone. I was chasing outcomes, pushing through exhaustion, and ignoring all the signs—until my body literally forced me to stop.

I hit a wall. And in that pause, I remembered everything I had learned and let slip.

Mental fitness isn’t a “one and done.” Just like physical fitness, it’s a lifelong practice. You don’t get to check the box and move on. You keep showing up. You keep doing the reps.

So now, I’m back. Recommitted. Rebuilding. Practicing grace, not perfection.

Start Here: StrengthsFinder + Positive Intelligence

If you lead a team and you haven’t used StrengthsFinder yet, let this be your sign. It’s one of the best tools I’ve found for understanding your people and helping them understand each other.

But don’t stop there. Positive Intelligence takes it even deeper. It helps you understand not just what drives you—but what’s silently draining you. It gives you language and tools to lead from a stronger, more grounded place.

It’s truly remarkable.

Final Thoughts: Be the Leader You Need, Too

If you’ve been feeling disconnected, burned out, or like something is “off” but you can’t name it… start with your mind. Get curious about your thoughts. Notice how you treat yourself. Ask what patterns might be running the show.

You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be aware—and willing to do the work.

Because your studio, your team, your family, your life—they don’t need a superhero. They need you. Present, honest, and mentally strong.

And if you fall off? Like I did?

You can always come back.

I’m rooting for you,
With love and encouragement,
Beth

I’d love to hear your thoughts—have you explored mental fitness in your own life or business? What tools, mindset shifts, or practices have helped you lead from a more grounded place?